Contrary to popular belief, flirting is not about mastering a variety of methods and moves. When you try to turn flirting into a science, you miss out on all the elements that make it enjoyable and successful, including playfulness, surprise, and a genuine sense of connection.
The first step in learning how to flirt better is to fully comprehend what flirting is and why we do it in the first place. It will then be easier to learn how to flirt in a way that seems completely natural to you.
We are starved for honest and genuine connection because of everything the world has gone through in the recent past and is still going through. And while it might seem cliché, people are frequently drawn to the confidence that comes from being authentically yourself and owning it. So being upfront with people might encourage them to be more open with you as well.
To put this theory into practice, consider placing casual encounter ads on online dating sites and starting to connect with people. Intimacy is bred by transparency. When you meet someone and see that they are comfortable with themselves, it makes you feel good. Whether you realize it or not, that makes you want to open up to them as well and build a relationship.
Make it less formal
We’ve all had limited social interaction over the past few years, so don’t feel pushed to start flirting right away if that doesn’t feel comfortable to you. Move at your own pace.
Don’t stress about mastering the art of flawless flirting or rushing to make significant advances right away. If you want to spend some time with people you like, ask them to go on a stroll with you and grab a cup of coffee together. Ask them thoughtful questions to learn more about them and determine whether you are compatible. The act of flirting can be that easy.
Be willing to initiate contact
These past few years have been a period of intense reflection for many people, and single people are emerging from the pandemic with a lot more clarity about what they’re looking for in relationships. So dating doesn’t require as much ambiguity. Knowing what you’re searching for upfront makes it much simpler to meet people who share your goals because they are likely looking for you as well.
People these days know what they want and aren’t afraid to go after it, so if you think you may be interested in someone, feel empowered to make the first move and don’t hesitate to initiate the flirting. If you’re on the same page, it’s better to know it straight away than to wait around in doubt and what-ifs.
Observe their body language
Before you start flirting, make sure the person is into it, because flirting only works if the attention is returned. If you are speaking to someone in person, observe their body language, since body language is responsible for 55% of all flirting. Recognize when communication is fading and you are not receiving a response.
You shouldn’t see the lack of interest shown by the other person as a sign that you should try harder or try to reach out to them in a different way. Take this as a clue that they might not be the right person for you, rather than trying to reach them again via DM or another method of communication. Accept no as an answer and carry on. Be understanding of rejection; not everyone will be interested in you.
Don’t go overboard
People occasionally put too much thought into flirting. If you try to plan something that can only happen by chance, you end up looking like marketing professionals who try to make content go viral by any means necessary.
Being in the present and truly accomplishing what you’re trying to do—connect with another person—is impossible if you’re preoccupied with where you’re going to put your arm or how smooth you seem during a discussion. So, once more, try not to be too flirty. Approach these conversations by being the most genuine version of yourself.
Flirting is intimate and personal. There isn’t a single approach to flirting that will be effective for everyone. Being comfortable and being as natural as possible can help you come off as interested in this person and show them that you want to get to know them. That’s all there is to it. Moreover, enjoy it. Lean into play and try not to take flirting too seriously. Flirting can and should be an enjoyable experience for both of you.