Friendship is one of the most fascinating phenomenons in life that one can experience. We meet friends throughout our lifetime and keep them for long or short depending on circumstances that we face. We share our ups and downs with them and hope that once we’re in trouble, they will help us out with their witty bits of advice or smart opinions. But what should we do if we know that some of our buddies are divorcing? What to say to someone going through a divorce and how to help them stress less? In this guide, we will shed light on a few ways that you can use to cheer up your friend during their marriage dissolution and become even closer friends.
Ask what kind of help is needed
First of all, you need to be delicate when it comes to communicating with friends in the process of divorce. People react to it differently and you may fail to guess how to help them the best. Thus, your casual words of support might not reach your purpose: you may say that everything will be okay even after divorce while your friend can perceive it as the end of their Universe. As a result, your friend will think that you don’t really care about them divorcing and eventually stop communicating with you.
The best advice for someone going through a divorce will be to stay strong throughout the process, and you can contribute to it by asking what exact kind of support they need at the moment. Most likely that they will say whether they want you to take them out for dinner, have a party, help them with filling out free printable divorce papers or stay at home with pizza and drinks to watch ‘The Sex And The City’ and ‘The Bridget Jones Diary’. Either way, you won’t have to guess how to entertain your friend: they will tell you that on their own. Fulfilling your friend’s small wishes will help them become more mentally peaceful and ready to fight with their spouse in court.
Don’t push them to reveal any details
The second answer to the question ‘How to support a friend going through a divorce?’ will be respecting their privacy. By this, we mean refraining from asking about the divorce details, reasons for the break-up, etc. If you just found out that your friends’ couple has split up, it’s not a good time to force people to talk about that. Since the stress levels are high, your friend might not want to share anything immediately. Also, you never know who was the initiator of divorce, so your friend may feel abandoned and neglected if they were dumped. Thus, there is no sense in pushing them to open up regarding the matter.
Consider offering to listen to your friend any time they want to talk to you. Listen more than talk to help them get relief. And last but not least don’t share your friend’s secrets with any other friend. Keep things private unless your friend allows you to talk about their divorce with others.
Keep inviting them out
The next step you can take to cheer up your buddy during divorce is to invite them to spend time together. Be it a theme party, an art gallery exhibition, or just eating out in their favorite restaurant, your friend will be happy to get distracted from the procedural paperwork they have to do.
Also, do not forget about your friend’s kids: they are usually the most affected by the parents’ split-up, so if you have ideas on how to improve their mental health and overall wellness, feel free to express them. Hiking in the mountains, taking trips to rural areas for a barbecue, and swimming in the river are great ways to bring positive emotions to kids and their parents in divorce.
Don’t comment on their marriage
We know how hard it may be, especially if your poor friend got cheated on by their cruel husband, but don’t. Don’t comment on the whole family life of your friend even if it failed badly. You never know how many positive and negative moments the couple had before it split up. Also, you cannot be sure that your friend’s interpretation of divorce is objective since they are the party to the case.
With that in mind, we advise you to stay silent on the personal life of your friend and what is more, we suggest that you don’t try to help your friend find another partner soon. You may feel tempted to introduce the best guys you know to your single-again friend but that’s not the best idea when they are divorcing. Better listen more to what your friend is saying regarding guys and relationships in the future and act accordingly.
Be ready to provide physical help instead of talks
Finally, when it comes to divorce, many people have a lot more stuff to do: relocation, paperwork, difficulties with providing enough care for their kids, etc. Therefore, being the best friend to a person in such a situation means being ready to offer physical help with packing things, filling out or serving divorce documents, and occasionally driving their kids to school.
Since you cannot predict the life twists that your fate prepared for you, don’t hesitate to provide a helping hand to your friends in need. Maybe, one day you will happen to deal with the same trouble, and your friends’ help will be as decisive as yours now.
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