Many women don’t even want to think about sex after childbirth and the problem is not in the doctor’s recommendations. Most of them are afraid that the sensations will not be the same or sex can be painful. These fears lead to that sex after childbirth can disappear at all. As a result, many women are completely involved in the care of the newborn and their partners don’t receive enough love and attention.
However, you should know that sex after childbirth can be amazing. The reality is that a woman’s body has changed during pregnancy and delivery. This means that many things will be different. But there is no reason to refuse to have sex if you feel that you want it and there are no restrictions. In this article, we gathered eight surprising facts about sex after childbirth you should know.
1. It Can be a Little Unpleasant at First
Many women can experience discomfort and even pelvic pain during sex with their husbands for the first time after childbirth. This is not a problem of women who gave birth in a natural way. Women who have had a cesarean section often experience the same problems, even though their vagina was not injured during childbirth.
It is important to understand that trauma or injury is not the key factor. The main culprit is a postpartum hormonal restructuring in a woman’s body. After childbirth, the level of estrogen in the mother’s body decreases significantly and remains so throughout the entire period of breastfeeding. Moreover, estrogen is responsible for the elasticity of vaginal tissues. A low level of estrogen, coupled with an increased level of prolactin and oxytocin, causes menopausal symptoms in a woman’s body. Women after childbirth often experience flushing, sweating, dryness, and discomfort in the vagina. Similar problems can bother a woman for two or three months after the delivery.
Usually, if the birth has passed without complications, you can return to sexual life after 6 weeks (but only after consultation with a gynecologist). In order to make the return to the sex life as pleasant as possible, it is better to combine a glass (or two) of wine, a sense of humor, and a lot of lubricants.
2. You May not Want Sex and That’s Fine
Many couples are not able to enjoy sex life right after becoming parents. There are a lot of difficulties like a lack of sleep, frequent feeding, attempts to establish the schedule of the baby’s day. Despite the fact that all these problems are temporary, they can significantly spoil the mood. In addition, most women after delivery are often embarrassed by their bodies because of a tummy that has not gone away after pregnancy, excess weight, and painful breasts filled with milk. Many of them still doubt that all this may seem seductive to their partners.
It is important to understand that it is completely normal that you may not want sex after childbirth. The fact is that a huge amount of the hormone oxytocin enters the bloodstream during breastfeeding. This hormone helps to establish a connection between the mother and the baby. However, oxytocin also significantly reduces a woman’s sexual drive. This is a kind of natural contraception, the lack of desire to have sex helps not to get pregnant again too soon.
You should also know that women who did not breast-feed their babies begin to feel sexual desire much faster. Moreover, they can return to sexual life faster and more painless.
3. The Vagina May Change
A woman that returns to sex life after childbirth can be surprised to notice that the partner’s penis has somewhat decreased in size. However, the point is not in the partner. Depending on the woman’s age and the number of childbirths, the vagina can be stretched. This condition can affect the sensations during sex.
However, women after cesarean section can also experience the same, as the muscles of the vagina are stretched under the influence of pregnancy hormones. In order to strengthen the muscles, you can try Kegel exercises and Pilates. They can be beneficial because of their ability to train the deeply located muscles of the pelvic floor.
4. Sex Can Become Even More Important than Before
Sex after childbirth is very important for both partners. If the intimate part of life after childbirth is interrupted, the couple can quickly feel like just neighbors. This is the shortest way to quarrels, misunderstanding, and even divorce. An intimate relationship reminds the couple that they are lovers, not just mom and dad.
If a woman is not yet ready for sex, her partner shouldn’t insist. It is important to explain to your partner that gentle hugs, kisses, and long foreplay are more preferable for you now. Moreover, it would be beneficial to both of you to arrange romantic dates and spend time together. For example, you can take a warm bath with foam and have a glass of wine. You may not even notice how you started kissing and moved to the bedroom.
5. You Can Do It Fast
Young parents are busy people. But amidst all the hustle and bustle, spending time together is not so difficult. If you can’t have sex in the bedroom, you can still have it in the bathroom or kitchen. These minutes of unexpected closeness will help maintain intimate relationships and wake up forgotten feelings when the current mom and dad were young and reckless.
6. Try Daylight Sex
After a whole day alone with the baby and household routines, the young mother barely can get to bed without any thought about sex. She can often refuse to have sex because of tiredness and this can weaken the connection between the partners over time. A good way out is to spend some time together during the daytime sleep of the baby. You will not be as tired as you usually are in the evening and will be able to maintain your connection as a couple.
7. Sex Can Become Even Better
Despite all the difficulties that a couple may experience the first time after childbirth, most couples admit that they enjoy sex much more than before having a baby. Pregnancy and childbirth have a great effect on a woman. The body changes and becomes more perceptible to foreplay and sex. Moreover, most women say they experience stronger orgasms than before childbirth.
8. You Will Want to Have Sex Again
Even if a woman doesn’t want to think about sex right after the childbirth, there will come times when she wants to do it again. It may take more time than the partner expects. But when the baby will no longer be tormented by colic and sleep all night in the bed, a woman will be more prone to have sex.
Many women say that it is difficult only after the birth of their first child. You should know that more children don’t mean less sex. However, you should understand that if you have children, the ideal moment for intimacy and sex may never come. That’s why it is important to maintain your relationship when and where it is possible.
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