Imagine this situation. You and your partner were together for quite a long time and had decided to get married. Everything is going great, you have your wedding with the white dress and all your family present. However, a few months into your marriage, you realize that your partner is not as perfect as you thought he or she was. They keep talking about themselves, they don’t ask you how your day has been when they come home, and every time you are doing something, they subtly try to tell you that they can do it better.
You end up asking yourself – How could I not notice it before? Well, the truth is that negative personality traits often get overlooked. Many people think, or at least want to believe, that their partner might change after saying ‘I do.’ However, that’s usually not the case. Furthermore, it can even get worse, and before you know it, you end up divorcing. Maybe that’s not the most positive vision; however, that’s often how it looks.
There are many personality traits that are an indicator that making your relationship legal might end up with a divorce. So if you don’t want to end up divorcing a narcissist or a compulsive liar in the future, you should keep an eye on them before tying the knot.
Conflict Anxiety
From a very young age, we are taught that fighting is wrong and that you shouldn’t fight with anyone. However, as it turns out, it’s completely normal to fight with your partner from time to time. Furthermore, it keeps the relationship healthy and shows that the people in it are comfortable enough with each other when they think that the other person is in the wrong.
However, if the fighting happens too often, or doesn’t happen at all, it might mean that something is not right. When you don’t express what you really think or feel, you start to bottle up the feelings, which are definitely not healthy for the relationship. And when it comes out – because it will eventually – it’ll be like opening a bottle filled up with years of sadness, resentment, and disappointment. Eventually, it might lead to divorce.
Pathological Lying
A pathological liar usually doesn’t have a reason for lying. They would bend the truth and try as hard as they possibly can to defend it. In more extreme cases, people start to believe their own lies. And if a pathological liar is also a narcissist, they will go to great lengths to avoid taking responsibility for their actions or apologizing.
Self-Deprecating
If you want to have a healthy relationship with another person, first you need to have one with yourself. If you are questioning yourself all the time, it might create a wedge between you and your partner. You can’t expect another person to fix you, as eventually, it will lead to the other person drifting away. They will simply become tired of managing their own issues as well as yours at the same time.
Overprotective and Overly Nurturing
Of course, there’s nothing wrong with someone being protective of their partner as it shows that they care. However, it becomes a problem when a person becomes too overprotective and start treating their partner like a child, and not as an equal. This can be seen as sweet in the beginning, but eventually, it might make the other person feel childish or incompetent.
It’s always nice to be cared for. However, it’s not nice to feel smothered.
Inability To Accept Responsibility
If you’ve done wrong, you need to be held accountable for your actions – that’s just how it works. However, some people seem not to understand that. It’s common in the case of narcissistic people, who tend to always put the blame on other people instead of accepting that they made a mistake.
People who are unable to take responsibility for their actions oftentimes won’t even accept the fact that both parties are to blame equally. And when it comes to divorce, it might lead to the judge having to decide who is actually to blame for it. If you want to have a healthy relationship, you need to learn to accept responsibility for your actions – there’s no way around.
Closed Off To Communication
Another thing that is crucial in a healthy relationship is communication. It can be hard to keep the relationship going if one of the partners is refusing to talk about their feelings or doesn’t make their partner comfortable enough to make them want to talk about it. And since communication is lacking, they cannot discuss the issues they might have, which is most likely going to ruin the relationship, and eventually lead to divorce.
Final Thoughts
Even though the personality traits listed above can lead to divorce, it doesn’t mean that every relationship in which the partner has one or more of those traits will fall apart. Furthermore, even the healthiest couples can break up or divorce. However, knowing them can help you to better work things out with your partner.
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