Motherhood feels like an endless juggling act – there’s no off switch, and no matter how many promises you make to “have time later,” the only constant in motherhood is change. I used to tell myself, “When my kids are older, I’ll finally have some me-time.” But the reality? Even when the little ones sleep through the night or are off at school, a whole new set of challenges pops up. The secret? Finding the micro-moments.
The Myth of “Finding More Time”
Time is a funny thing. There’s no extra time to conjure up – unless we’re secretly living in a time machine. What you actually need is a shift in perspective. Instead of feeling stuck and telling yourself, “I don’t have time,” ask yourself, “Is this really a priority?” When you start assessing how you spend your day, you quickly learn that saying, “I don’t have time to go for a walk” hits differently than “Going for a walk isn’t a priority.” Suddenly, you’ll start rearranging your day to make space for what truly matters.
This works the other way around, too. If you find yourself mindlessly scrolling social media, try on the phrase, “Scrolling is a priority to me.” Just typing that gives me the ick! But building that awareness about how we spend our time is the foundation for prioritizing what matters most.
What Are Micro-Moments?
Micro-moments are those tiny pockets of time that can easily slip by unnoticed if you’re not paying attention. They’re the few seconds you steal for a deep breath or a quick smile. They may seem trivial – like the few minutes before bed – but in those moments, life slows down. One minute, your kids are still your little bundles of chaos, and the next, they’re off making memories with friends. It’s in these fleeting pauses that you can reconnect with yourself and catch up on what really matters.
How Micro-Moments Build Confidence (Science Says So!)
It turns out that these little pauses do a lot more than just break up the day – they actually boost your confidence. Research by Emmons and McCullough found that simple interventions – like keeping a gratitude journal where you list a few blessings each day- can lead to significant boosts in overall well-being, with some studies reporting improvements of up to 25% (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gratitude_journal). Think of it as a mini-upgrade for your brain: a quick, deliberate pause that resets your mental state, reduces stress, and makes you feel like you’ve got this whole life thing under control.
Practical Ways to Incorporate Micro-Moments
Bedtime Reflection
My personal favourite micro-moment takes place in bed. Before I drift off, I ask myself, “What wonderful thing happened for me today?” This simple ritual shifts my focus from the “shoulda, woulda, coulda” to the “I did that!” and helps me appreciate even the small wins.
Morning Visualization
Every morning, before my feet even hit the floor, I play a mental movie of my ideal day – a vision I took the time to craft with care. Now, I simply hit play in my mind, letting that beautifully curated vision set the tone for the day ahead.
Assess and Prioritize
Take a few moments during the day to reassess your priorities. Ask yourself if that endless email check or extra TV time is truly worth sacrificing a walk, a pause, or even a deep breath.
Connection
We’ve all had those seasons in life where scheduling a coffee date with a friend seems like a quarterly business meeting. “I can squeeze you in two months from now, for one hour as long as no one is sick.” Am I right?! But connection is so important to our well-being and remembering who we are outside of motherhood. So maybe it’s a voice note you send to your bestie. Or a Zoom call with your childhood friend who moved away.
Mini Self-Care Bursts
When big hobbies or lengthy gym sessions aren’t fitting into your busy schedule, lean into these micro-moments. Even a few minutes of stretching, a power pose, or a mindful sip of your coffee can make a difference.
Overcoming Mom Guilt & Resistance
I get it – sometimes it feels like you should be doing a full-blown self-care marathon instead of these tiny moments. But here’s the truth: micro-moments aren’t a substitute for a spa day; they’re the lifeline that keeps you buoyant through motherhood’s constant waves of change. Instead of beating yourself up for not carving out an hour here or there, celebrate the small victories. Remember, even a minute spent recharging can change the game.
Think about it – we’ve all had those moments where we feel like we’re at the end of our rope. One more whiny “Moooom” and we’re just going to lose it. It’s okay! But these little moments to check in with ourselves, catch our breath, be present, and reset help reduce the strain we feel on our nervous systems.
Conclusion & Encouragement
Motherhood will never be a perfectly scheduled routine, and that’s okay. By embracing micro-moments, you’re not just managing your time – you’re reclaiming your confidence. So tonight, when you’re tucked in bed, take that minute to count your daily wins. And in the morning, let the vision of your ideal day play in your mind, inspiring you to make every second count. After all, life isn’t about finding more time; it’s about making time for what really matters.
Keep being awesome, one micro-moment at a time.
Author Bio
Nikki Bowman is a certified life coach, mom of 2, and creator of The Ten Minute Mom, where she helps busy moms reclaim their time, confidence, and joy – in just ten minute pockets of time. Passionate about personal growth and simple, impactful changes, she creates resources that empower moms to thrive amidst the chaos. When she’s not writing or coaching, you can find her enjoying the outdoors, going on adventures with her family, or sipping (semi-hot) coffee. Connect with her at https://thetenminutemom.com/
